It's been too long since I last set a foot in my old penthouse in Downtown Dollywood. It's actually been too long since I last had anything to do with the community, my label, my projects ... 

Everything has gone downhill and now I've returnt to collect the pieces of my broken career and my shattered life. But I better start from the beginning.

First, let me introduce myself: My name is Rafael Grant. I used to be famous for something that nobody can remember because it had been so long ago. According to legend, it had something to do with a modeling competition and a fashion label that sold shitty "couture". I can't really remember it myself, it's like someone put a blurry filter all over my past.

It all started in New York exactly one year ago. I moved there after overcoming my depression to start new projects and a new life with Jeremy (my ex-personal assisstant). Unfortunately, things didn't turn out as I planned them. First, I had problems with finding an appartment, then I had some problems with my project partners and sponsors and then the worst happened - I fell in love with Jeremy! 

We had only been together for 3 months, but things escalated way too quickly. First he cheated on me (first with a male model, then with 2 girls from a club we used to go to every weekend), then he started taking drugs and then he also got me to take them. I soon became addicted to Mary J and Coke.

Soon my private life transitioned into my work life and it didn't take long, I caught myself taking drugs while I was working on the set of Manda's Model Mission. I became a total mess and I even was bitchy towards the other judges and - that's the worst of all - the models. I believe I called one of them reductive ...

When we finished the shooting programme for MMM, I returned to New York only to find Jeremy in a messy appartment inbetween three teenagers who were already half dead. Obviously he gave them drugs and then had sex with them. "Wow, ok ... what a nice welcome" I thought to myself. 

That's when I snatched. I'd had enough and I couldn't go on like this. I simply went to the police and told them on him. Two days later he was already imprisoned for drug abuse and drug dealing ... and I was already long gone. Off to Berlin, far away from this mess. The last thing I did in NY was dying my hair to platinum blonde.